|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
I trim the grass around her marker, and dream of trimming the bangs from her forehead. I place the flowers in her vase, and dream of placing ribbons in her hair. I hold her memory dear to my heart, as I dream of holding her in my arms. ~Author Unknown.
I was going to sit and write the story of my time with Lily here on earth, but instead I thought I would share some of my favorite things about my pregnancy, as well as a few thoughts on the day we learned of her death and my thoughts upon her birth, which was also her due date. These may not seem like coherent thoughts to some but these ramblings are my outline, each thing triggers vivid memories, some happy, some sad, all difficult to put into words. My favorite things about my time with Lily: Her hiccups! They happened often and the episodes would last a long time. Her active time, which was usually around 10:15 pm: Mom and Dad would sit and start watching TV and she would start her exercising. After the first trimester, I never felt the exhaustion that I felt with my other pregnancies. I knew and said many times, this pregnancy is soooo different. I felt great, most of the time. (Except for the sciatica, which actually made for quite a humorous preggo walk. ) I said many times “This is my easiest pregnancy!” I still had enough energy to cook and clean and school the other kids. I remembered to take my vitamins EVERYDAY! That awful day: I try not to think about it. The building I will never enter again. I saw your tiny heart not beating. Daddy came in with such a handsome smile, assuming all was fine. I was the one that crushed that smile…”She has no heartbeat!” Lily’s birth: It was a great blessing to have a mercifully easy labor. I wanted to remember every second, every feeling, and every pain. I had been napping but could no longer remain asleep through the contractions so I got up and walked to the bathroom and found I could not return to the bed with out help. As I sat down I said “I think it’s time.” I needed to push, but I found my self holding back, I didn’t want to let you go. But at the same time, I needed to see your face and touch your skin and smell you. I wanted people to meet you. I wanted to make sure many people would always remember you were here. Pushing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, I would have kept you with me forever if I could have. One push and you were here. “She looks just like Gracie!” I cried as I held my precious daughter. I heard a heartbroken moan next to me and I turned to see my darling husband Matthew --who had thought up until that very moment that it was just a mistake and Lily was fine-- cry. ______ I have more to share but find that I am exhausted from writing this, so forgive me as I cut this short, temporarily. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. ~Ephesians 1:2 My arms ache for you Lily. ~Mom |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Click here to see Lily Vanderstar's Family Tree |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Tributes and Condolences
| Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake |
| This memorial website was created by Jennifer Vanderstar on 07/02/2006.
click here to contact Jennifer |
||||||||
 |
||||||||
|
||||||||
| The hosting of this website is sponsored by Matthew and Jennifer Vanderstar. | ||||||||
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
||||||||
|
|
||||||||
 Add to favorites |
||||||||
|
||||||||
| Home | Create a Memorial Website | Search Memorials | Grief Forums | Resources | Frequently Asked Questions | Blog | Testimonials | Affiliate with Us | Terms of Use | Contact Us | All Memorial Websites | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | |||||
|
|||||